Good qualities spring from preferring the wellbeing of others to our own, whereas frustrations, confusion, and pain result from selfish attitudes. By adopting an altruistic outlook and by treating others in the way they deserve, our own happiness is assured as a by-product. Self-centeredness is the source of most suffering, and thinking of others is the source of all happiness. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference is me. If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. Without accepting the fact that everything changes, we cannot find perfect composure.  But unfortunately, although it is true, it is difficult for us to accept it.  Because we cannot accept the truth of transience, we suffer.

See the change. Accept the change, and be the change you wish to seek. Forewarning, to the haters of my ginormous muscles get a life, please. What benefit would I serve to you, myself or the ED recovery world by lifting weights? Let’s start with the fact that I don’t have money for a gym membership. I currently work 12 hours a day Monday through Saturday to make my bills meet and afford some money to feed myself. It’s a tight ass budget and I work like a fuckin lunatic. Strange, my job does not stress me though at all. I can be swamped, and it just is what it is. I like that about myself. I am very opinionated and have strong beliefs which are all relatively new as I was pretty uncaring and mute as an anorexic lol. Anyways, if you’re going to refute what I say or what you assume is truth, at least be able to back it up. Prove me wrong. Show me how your recovering and in 8 months get back to me. You can’t presumptuously make comments or assume it wont work if you don’t try. That’s acceptance. If you’re not willing to change and lose the emotional attachment to food, to the addiction of sweet, to the food pictures and blog searching for the next best recipe/ingredient, then so be it but quit your bitching. I have nothing to defend and no reason to fucking lie. What the hell would this benefit? Get real. I lay out time and again exactly what I did along the way and what I have learned.


So, without further ado, here is a day in the life of Mal:


7am- I woke up. Usually wake up at 630 but I was not drying my hair, I wore it in a French braid. When the alarm goes off I hit it and almost, every single day doze back off but then catch myself. Then I do breathing and starches in bed to wake up. Then I go to the bathroom and pee while I brush my teeth. Then I put my contacts in and get a shower.


745am- I leave and go to work. Usually drink a bottle of water between shower and arriving at work.

 ~9am- coffee with cream

~1030am- coffee with cream

 1pm-2pm LUNCH HOUR. If I am hungry I eat, if not I go outside and hang out with the people at the yard or mechanic shop and get sun exposure. VITA D BABY!!


220 cals per ounce...thats double cream cheese!



5pm- my overtime starts…this blows… I am cross training in human resources currently. I usually work until 7 or 8pm

 745pm- got home, made dinner, laid around texting people and talking on the phone. Went to bed but couldn’t sleep well. Getting off work this late and having dinner this late makes for a sweaty tossy turny night.

pork belly/cabbage stiry fry, beef liver/mush/onions in tallow

i had eggs too

cooked eggs in this

cooked liver in this

right: chicken in back with dip(recipe to follow)



had raw cheese to while cooking

with some fruit and FAGE

veggie drawer


i use this on my skin in the morning


yup, all 5 serving of canned fish i ate

outfit todaySnack...recipe follows



One block of cream cheese

One 16oz container of sour cream

One can of FAGE(or 4 individual ones)

One entire ziplock bag of nutritional yeast

¼ cup chipotle peppers (fresh or dried)

Jalapeños with some juice

One tomato


2 cloves garlic

Cumin/paprika/smoked chili/onion/garlic/cilantro

Whiz in blender.

Refrigerator ice cream:

One jar of coconut butter

One container FAGE(or 4 individual ones)

½ can pumpkin

Pumpkin pie spices

*sweetner of choice(use what you use I don’t use one)

Whiz in blender or food processor. It WILL BE THICK and should scoop like ice cream(hence my made up name)