I ACCEPT….
That my biggest desire in life is to raise a big family and have lots of children
Where I am and where I need to get to
That only I can make this right, even if I don’t much like it
My flaws, my quirks, my weirdness
My passion, my personality, my drive, my determination and motivation
I am me and that is all I can and will ever be
There are regrets and shame in my past
That loving myself and accepting myself is the key to recovery
That frustration is sometimes a good thing, a sign of hope
That until I accept myself, no one else will be able to
That there is more to me than a body
That I have charisma, wittiness and an outgoing personality
That I tend to hide under a nervous energy to get by
That food is essentially the only thing that will provide me with what I need
That I know how to gain weight
That I need to gain weight
That I am missing out on life
That this is incredibly hard
That my body and I do not see eye to eye with each other in the mirror
That staying away from the mirror is a good idea
That throwing out my scale was a good idea
That I do not need to deserve or earn food
That I do not have to be hungry to eat
That people worry about me
The many tears I have shed and will shed through weight gain
That my mind does not run correctly
That I do not need to believe everything I think
That food will restore my fertility
That I am gaining weight
That I have gained weight
That I can eat and function easily but eating to gain is a whole new ball field
That weight gain is part of finding myself and my life again
That people will tell me they are envious of my body and figure but accept they have a distorted image of health
That people will tell me I look great because they have no idea
That I feel lost, bothered, confused and scared
That I am determined to get well
That I have been blessed with amazing friends
That my parents will never ever understand me, and I should stop trying to prove myself to them
That pursuing weight gain means people are going to shove crackers, cake, fries, and ice cream at me all the time
That I need to take time out to breathe and relax or stretch when I get overwhelmed
That my friends may be better support to turn to than my parents
That my parents are loving and caring, but are scared and frustrated with me
I accept…that I am committed to feeling good again, to getting better, and to actively gain weight.
I am learning to accept my self worth, build self confidence, and full self acceptance.
Where you are and what you are right now has to be made right, even if you don’t like it that much. Nevertheless, it is you. By criticizing and negating the current circumstances, what you are saying is that you are not okay. What is around you is only an extension of who you are. Look at those things and realize that they are what they are, imperfect though they may be. By accepting the truth, you propel yourself into better circumstances. By resisting, you live in the constant negativity of your own dissatisfaction. Accept everything about yourself–I mean everything. You are you and that is the beginning and the end–no apologies, no regrets. Once we accept ourselves, it doesn’t matter what we do. You must be adventurous and daring to accept yourself as a bundle of possibilities and undertake the most interesting game in the world, making the most of your best. When you’re a beautiful person on the inside, there is nothing in the world that can change that about you. Jealousy is the result of one’s lack of self-confidence, self-worth, and self-acceptance. The Lesson: If you can’t accept yourself, then certainly no one else will. Only by acceptance of the past, can you alter it. Self-acceptance comes from meeting life’s challenges vigorously. Don’t numb yourself to your trials and difficulties, nor build mental walls to exclude pain from your life. You will find peace not by trying to escape your problems, but by confronting them courageously. You will find peace not in denial, but in victory. Acceptance of one’s life has nothing to do with resignation; it does not mean running away from the struggle. On the contrary, it means accepting it as it comes, with all the handicaps of heredity, of suffering, of psychological complexes and injustices. Let go of what you think life should be so you can experience the life you have. You can succeed if nobody else believes it, but you will never succeed if you don’t believe in yourself. Your problem is you’re… too busy holding onto your unworthiness.
The more I repeat “I ACCEPT” to myself, the more I am able to believe it and make changes. Seriously, it is really working. Accept it because you need the determination. Accept it because you need to have the will to get better.
My own recovery started from acceptance, too. First and foremost the fact that I AM precious…a beloved child of God. Great post, Mallory, as always.
Great post…I think it is great you not only accept but acknowledge these things. And good for you for wanting a big family! I always admire people who can handle more than one kid!
this speaks to me…i have (and still do) spend years regretting, feeling guilty, RESISTING…resisting is futile…completely.
It’s a constant battle to accept things as they are in the world when I myself am trying to change. It’s almost like it doesn’t seem fair. That I need to get better, that I need to be healthier and recovered even though other people and things in the world are just as, or worse off than me. But that’s just me pointing the finger at other issues. That’s me brushing off my problems in a way that doesn’t make me feel like such a wreak. Accepting that my own struggles are worth my attention. That I need to stop being so damn proud. This really made me think!
❤ Tori
YOU NEED TO WRITE THIS OUT AND FRAME IT FOR UR ROOM! SO INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL AND HEARTFELT! ❤ xoxoxo lovely
I accept where I am in my recovery.
you inspire me every day ❤
That list is incredibly amazing! Acceptance is so important–in anything, especially in recovery.
PS I’m so glad that your friends have been supportive after your email, I bet that they were really touched that you shared with them as much as you did
Wow wow wow…I am not able to do this yet…I an not an anorexic – I binge alot and then really have difficulty accepting myself or not feeling like a piece of crap…
same problems girl just opposite spectrums… you can accept yourself and get well. you have to believe in yourself ❤
this is a great post. I think its encouraging to ANYONE out there reading it. Thanks!