Wow… absolutely exhausted. I feel like a 100 year old reitred veteran! You know you have left that “starving on energy” high when you would absolutely adore to be able to sleep for 99.999% of the day. I am SO tired. Food isn’t doing a thing (besides sitting in me); I want to be in my bed. I now recall how worthless I was at my job last time I had to do this re-feeding thing. I hope I don’t F#$& anything up too bad but I can’t even think straight. You know what this means though…that feeling of real HUNGER is right around the corner! At least something to look forward to. Eating and actually being hungry.

Wow, I cannot even think of anything to write about! Yesterday again I got incredibly irrationally pissed and high tempered after eating, anytime, anything. My mom asked me last night when I was making dinner what was wrong. I just snapped at her nothing. GEEZ I feel bad but I am so tired and SO grrr mad when I eat food! Yes, I have been here before and been through this before but geez the fight seems harder this time. Reminder to self NEVER RELAPSE AGAIN. My belly is feeling pleasantly round today haha. Reason #2 NEVER to have to go through this again: you gain all your weight in your belly and there it sits for a good few couple months before it decides to disperse. Wouldn’t it be cool if you gained it ALL in your boobs and then disperse…haha.

Yessssss I can still bring light to the situation. I have always wanted big boobs but the good lord did NOT bless me up top. I am trying a starchy root vegetable tonight. I figure, I am exhausted so maybe I won’t freak out as much about the carbohydrates and will be able to sanely complete the meal. I am deciding between celeric root, rutabaga, turnip or parsnip. Which is your favorite and how do you cook them?

This is like an unspoken of large step forward for me. I also decided there are way to many decisions and choices and that I would be well served to compile myself a meal plan of the sort so that when it comes time to eat I do not stress out and panic having NO idea what to eat. When I eat now I either just eat meat because there are no choices, or I buy one vegetable and eat it until it is gone.

So, a meal plan will guarantee me more vegetables at each meal, more choices so I do not get stuck in ritual safe food repeat meal mode, and a weight lifted off my shoulders because I know anything I want is either “coming up” I a soon-to-be meal or I can add it to one of my meals and know I will get it at some point. AHHH— envision my sigh of relief when I realized the obvious. Well it is rainy and supposed to get cold here in the deep south this weekend so BLEH on that. I managed to F*&^ up filing my taxes last night and they got rejected so I had to go back this morning(at work shh) and try again. Im anxiously awaiting my federal tax return because BOUUUUYYAAAA that baby is big… I see new shoes and a new outfit in my future!!!

For example…i have been CRAVING a big ass pickle with REAL good room temperature raw cheddar. Salty much? Ia te a lot of salt when I was zero carbing so maybe I miss the salt.

I am grateful for people not giving up on me. I am grateful for my family. I am grateful for, yes, food. i am grateful to be on better speaking terms with my older brother lately. I am grateful my soon-to-be roommate is funny and unnattractive(more on my moving in another post- too sleepy…anxiously awaiting 5 p.m.). That’s mean, but who would want to live with a guy they are attracted to? WEIRD.

I wish y’all Good Eats from the deeeeep south to your world!

Advertisements